Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hey guys I need some advice, I am dealing with an HIV issue!?

MY FRIEND CALLED ME YESTERDAY WITH A PROBLEM. SHE HAS BEEN DATING A GUY FOR A WHILE. THEN THEY BROKE UP AND SHE MET ANOTHER GUY AND SHE IS ABOUT FOUR MONTHS PREGNANT. WELL ABOUT TWO MONTHS AGO HER EXBOYFRIEND CALLED HER AND TOLD HER HE DID AN HIV TEST AND IT CAME BACK POSITIVE AND THAT SHE SHOULD GET HER SELF TESTED. SO SHE DID AND AFTER THE LONG ANTICIPATION HER TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE ALSO. AFTER TELLING HER BOYFRIEND HE LEFT HER. I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE GOT A COLD OR A BROKEN LEG. THIS IS SOMETHING SHE HAS TO LIVE WITH UNTILL SHE DIES AND HER INICENT UNBORN CHILD. I DID NOT KNOW WHAT ADVICE TO GIBE HER. I HAVE NEVER HAD SOMEONE SO CLOSE TO ME WHO WAS INFECTED WITH HIV. CAN ANYONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ON WHAT TO TELL HER TO COPE WITH THIS ISSUE. I FEEL SO SELFISH NOW THAT I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HERHey guys I need some advice, I am dealing with an HIV issue!?
Tell her you will be with her when you can..and to help her everyway you can..I think Just Being A Emotional Support is Enough Even Though It Doesn't Seem Enough!!! Does She Have A Regular Doctor she is Seeing..Make sure she is staying healthy and keeping fit and going to The Doctor On A Regualar Basis would be a great help to her to remind her to go see her Doctor..I am sure she is getting Treated And Taking Medicine..I know what you mean I was in sex education Class In Highschool And I Remember That Those Big Giant Pills They Had To Take For HIV..I Never Forget That!!!That is Why There is not such Thing As ';Safe Sex'; Yeah Yeah Yeah People Tell You To Wear A Condom but most ';Youth'; Don't And Then it Too Late..If The Person You Are With Wears A Condom your not garunteed you will be 100% Safe of Not Catching A Disease it just made out of Laxtex..And Condoms Don't Protect You From A Broken Heart..Hmmm Never Though Of That..Did Ya??? I Can Hear You Think!!! That is The One Thing They Will Never Tell You in Sex Education Clas In Highschool!!!


P.SSSS In a Book I Gave To A Book To One Of My Friends Called ';Why Wait'; And One Of The Stories Was A Girl And A Guy Just Had Sex..And After That They Broke Up..She Asked Him Why And He Said I Want To Make Sure I Didn't Love You..So You See You Have To Think..Do I want Aids, STD, A Broken Heart,UnWanted Pregnancy..Single Mother And The Guys Left..Girl No Matter How Good It Feels..Don't Do It Girls Out There Reading My Post..Right Now..You Are More Valuabe Then That..Don't Put Yourself in A Postion Your Not Ready For...Just Because Your Friends are out there Having Sex Doesn't Mean Your Story Will Be Like Their Story!!!


~Blessings~


Jesus Loves You ok!!!


Lynda R.LeavyHey guys I need some advice, I am dealing with an HIV issue!?
Ah don't feel bad. It's not your fault and you're not a bad friend for it. I used to volunteer for a charity center specifically for those with hiv and aids- and most of the people who worked there full time were positive. First of all she needs to remember that she has HIV, not aids, and there is a difference. Hiv can turn into aids but if you keep it in check with meds, it's likely not to. second of all she needs to know that plenty of people with hiv are so well medicated that their blood tests now show them as negative. magic johnson and hulk hogan both have hiv and both show up as negative. give her this helpful information and anything else inspiring you can dredge up online. let her know that you're here for her and that anyone that would leave her in a time like this wasn;t worth her time asnyway. just tell her that you love her and that although you honestly can;t understand what she is going through, you can offer a freindly shoulder and ear. another great thing is that alot of babies born to mothers with hiv do not have the virus. so there's alot right now that's still up in the air with her that neither she nor you needs to worry over until it comes to pass. just be a strong person for her and she will feed from your strength.
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sometimes theres nothing to say at all but to be there with her and hold her when she cries.
Hi,


I am so sorry for what your friend is going through - it's something that none of us could probably imagine if it hasn't happened to us. The amount of stress she must be experiencing is probably off the charts. So that is my first concern: that she seeks out professional counseling support IMMEDIATELY (preferably someone who specializes in counseling women with HIV).





As far as you not knowing what to say to her, you can tell her that because that is the honest truth. If you can make a commitment to be there for her, be ready and willing to help her with anything she needs and to listen to her when she needs to talk or to cry, etc. THAT is the gift of love and friendship.





I hope that your friend can talk to a professionally-trained counselor as soon as possible. I listed several websites: The first one is a list of places for her to call to find out about counseling and pregnancy care nationwide (since I didn't know what State you were in); the next two websites are community-based services for women with HIV, one in San Diego and one in San Francisco(I put those in because usually, they will know someone for you to call in your state or they can help you if you are having problems getting through to help); the last website is information that your friend is probably not ready to see yet because she is still in the shock and denial phase, but it is from the National Institute of Health so that you could feel like you were more educated on the subject.





Bottom line, no one knows what to say when tragedies happen to people who we care about. That's why I think that just the fact that you are there for her and you keep calling and visiting will be the most important thing you can do right now. She can tell you what she needs and I hope you can encourage her to reach out for help (maybe sit with her as she makes the calls, go with her to her first counseling appointment, etc.) This is just way too much for you to try to deal with on your own.





I can tell how much you care about your friend and I will pray for all of you. Also, if at any time, she expresses the desire to harm herself, do not hesitate to take drastic steps (like taking her to the emergency room; calling 911, etc.) because any threat like that is always an emergency. In case you are not available, maybe you could give her the crisis line or sometimes called the ';suicide hotline'; in your area (you don't have to be suicidal to call; just in crisis and there are trained counselors on the phonelines).





I hope some of this helped. The best advice I can give as a social worker is to help her to help herself.





Take good care...
Many people who are HIV positive live a long full life. Look at Magic Johnson. He was the first real celebrity to bring HIV to the forefront. Read as much as you can on the subject so you can be informed. Refer your friend to professional counseling. This is too much for an average person to handle. Offer to go with your friend to doctor appointments and do not treat her like she has the plague. Treat her with the same respect you have always treated her with. Reassure her that there are people out there who would be willing to have a relationship with her. If and when she does contract full blown aids, offer to help her find adoptive parents for her child. Just put yourself out there but most of all put yourself in her place. Be supportive and loving. That is really all you can do.
Help your friend find a good infectious disease doctor. Also check and see if there is a support group for mothers that are HIV positive in your area. You sound like an awesome friend. She's lucky to have you
Give her the same kind of support and love and respect you would anyone else. She will be dealing with the reality of her mistake and you have to let her know that it doesnt matter what she is dealing with, that you will always be by her side. I would suggest to her, to get some counseling to deal with any expected grief, denial and anger she will be feeling at this stage, as well as a doctor who can perscribe her some medication that will help with her immune system and the problems she will be faced with physically.


Ultimately, she will need to feel your love for her as a friend hasn't changed. Remember she is a person not a disease.


This is from my own experience having lost a loved one to AIDS
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